New Feature: Text chat pranks

After seeing a man on zug.com prank Lands' End Live, I thought I would give it a try on this boring, lackluster day.

Enter Joyce K. A very perky, willing to please, and spineless woman (You would be too if your job was text chatting with weirdos all day).

I assumed the identity of Hannah Goldman, an old Jewish woman looking for some items to impress my husband of 30 years "Morty."

Read from bottom, working your way to the top. Apparently Lands' End does everything backwards!

Joyce K: Thank you for using Lands' End Live.
Joyce K: It was a pleasure.
Joyce K: Bye.
Joyce K: You have a good sense of humour. (Editor's note: You're in America! Stop talking like a Foob!)
Joyce K: Ha
Joyce K: May I assist you with anything else, please?
Hannah Goldman: Looks like a windowpane that wasn't installed correctly! haha well thank you for all of your help! bye bye now
Joyce K: Many flannel shirts are just checks, so the windowpane is different design.
Joyce K: The windowpane is supposed to resemble a windowpane.
Joyce K: This is all we have right now in Extra Large Tall .
Hannah Goldman: any idea why the patterns are called _____windowpane? They're shirts
Joyce K: We will be carrying more flannel shirts in August.
Joyce K: I'm sorry.
Hannah Goldman: any other options?
Hannah Goldman: Oy those patterns are miskayt.
Joyce K: Yes, it is a small world.
Hannah Goldman: ok isee the shirts
Hannah Goldman: Oh wow! you're out there! I have a relative who lives in Dodgeville actually! ha! what a small world!
Joyce K: I am in Dodgeville, Wisconsin.
Hannah Goldman: so what part of te country are you in?
Hannah Goldman: oh its not your fault, dear
Joyce K: Just a moment. Please let me check for you.
Joyce K: I'm sorry that happened.
Hannah Goldman: he needs tall
Hannah Goldman: why thank you so much!! you are very kind! the last woman I talked too was quite rude!
Joyce K: Does he need a size tall?
Joyce K: Yes, our shirts are generous.
Joyce K: That shows you are a great cook! (Editor's note: Sucking up won't make me buy your ugly shirts!)
Hannah Goldman: My husband Morty has some "love handles" he isnt as trim as he was 30 years ago when I married him. You know men, all they do is eat our food!!! hah any XXL shirts?
Joyce K: May I send that page to you? It will appear on your computer screen.
Joyce K: We have different patterns of flannel, and they all have a generous fit.
Hannah Goldman: hmmmm..then what can you tell me about your mens flannel shirts..what colors do you like? my husband, Morty is looking for some, but he has very questionable taste
Joyce K: Is there something more I may help you with?
Joyce K: We appreciate you asking, however.
Joyce K: Our jeans are all traditional.
Joyce K: I'm sorry.
Hannah Goldman: do you sell things that arent so traditional?
Joyce K: Some jeans are a traditional fit, some are relaxed fit, and some fit lower on the hip.
Hannah Goldman: I just got home from temple a few hours ago, and I am looking to purchase some tight old man jeans.
Joyce K: There are different styles.
Joyce K: All of our jeans are a great quality and are guaranteed.
Joyce K: How kind of you to inquire!
Hannah Goldman: what can you tell me about your womens jeans? Oh Im doing just swell! :-)
Joyce K: :-)
Joyce K: How are you?
Joyce K: I am fine, thank you, Hannah.
Hannah Goldman: how are you today?