Comics Roast

By: Marc

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Delays, etc.

School started, and I'm quite busy again.

All I have to say about today is:

FC Daddy is a schitz


Aldo Kelrast will lash back this week! Trust me! After a long week of put-downs, now its his turn to put down "BBShell" and Prof. Chinbeard MD.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring PAD PHONE! Doot doot a doot a do!

If you know what the title of this post is referring to, you have too much spare me ;).

Hi and Lois 8/24/06:

Look! A 6 digit "pad" phone! Doesn't the telephone holder look like a menstruation pad? And why is there an electric blue pen hanging from it? Do these 6 digit phones come with pens now? So you can test the phone on those commercials:

Look at how much Brand A doesn't absorb compared to H&L's pad phone! The blue liquid seeps into Brand A and can leave you feeling uncomfortable!

So basically, if I wanted to call my would be impossible, seeing as there are only 6 digits. I guess Ditto's friend's number is something along the lines of: 458-9121. Pshh...who needs 3, 6, 9, 0, and star and pound buttons anyway?!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Door slamming in Charterstone?! GASP!

Mary Worth 8/23/06:

Just when you think the 24/7 stalking tale can't get any better, it does. I have been a fan of Mary Worth for quite some years. I never really read her daily strips until a little more than a year ago, when I became a "Cardinal" at Comics Curmudgeon.

If you are reading this blog, you are probably a regular reader at CC, so no need to recap.

I have never seen so many people obsess over this white-haired, meddling hag. One member (whose name I do not know) has created a YouTube clip of Mary getting stalked by good ol' Aldo Kelrast when all she wants to do is bring her groceries into her ground floor apartment in peace.

Her chutzpah in panel two is amazing!

Let's analyze:

Panel one: Aldo sweet talks Mary, while she tries to cut-short the conversation. Finger pointing makes the reader know that she's talking to Aldo and not the stucco building. (I would be soooo confused if she wasn't pointing!)

Panel two: What's this? At first glance it looks like Mary is slamming the door while Aldo is inside...but he's outside. Great job not putting reflection lines on his body, Giella! But look at that emphatic "SLAM!" The last time inanimate objects let out their emotions was when Ritzilla dropped Mary's Sex Swans on her kitchen floor.

P.S.: Mary...just to let you know, if there is no lock on the glass door (which is not shown), Aldo can still open the You're so smart and full of self-ritgeousness that you don't even think ahead! That face Mary has in panel two makes me one has infuriated Mary in such a long time, so I forgot what it looked like until this hilarious storyline.

I can see Mary stopping off to check her mail in the built-in mailboxes which vary in size and shape.

Discussion: What magazine could you see Mary subscribing to? I could see Old Hags Monthly and Martha Stewart Living.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Simply Poop

Hi and Lois 8/9/06

Oh Hi & Lois! Pulling out the poop jokes are we, eh? Trying to gain viewers? I'm afraid it's a bit too late...besides PJ from Family Circus takes the "cute comic strip baby" award. I mean, the moral Christian morals in the strip make it more "wholesome." There's too much hinting at world issues in your strip..what with your parent's BDSM lifestyle, your older brother's raging hormones, and your mom and Irma wearing Depends at the gym.

Funky Winkerbean 8/9/06

Funky Winkerbean is such a morbid strip lately. Why is this woman always talking about dying....I know her chance of living is least enjoy the last "years" you will be living. Stop being such a Debbie Downer, okay?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I'm back.....and Hi and Lois encourages anorexia

Okay, so I read today's Hi and Lois online. Here are some of my thoughts.

a) Is it healthy for a 40 something woman of that height to be 98 lbs? NO.

b) Why is this show-off bitch proclaiming to our stressed-out women her unhealthy weight?

c) Where is Irma plugged in? Maybe it makes sense to actually walk instead of wasting the small amount of money you have. Perhaps that money can be saved....or spent on a landscaper (if you are so inclined to spend), because gee whiz! Your backyard needs to be mowed! AGAIN! LOL!!!! That gag just never gets old!

d) Is it Depends day at this generic "Fitness Center?" Irma seems to be sporting this lovely adult diaper too. Is it in fashion in Hi and Lois-ville? I thought characters weren't supposed to show age in these types of strips. But wow, think about it.....Hi and Lois tackles the subjects of BDSM, Anorexia, teen hormones, SUV gas emmisions, AND incontenence. To quote They'll do it Every Time: Who'da thunk it. Translation: Who would have thought that such a topical strip could deal with such important world issues!

e) "Show-off bitch" seems to be driving away...but how did she get into the car? There's a pickle where the handle should be!!! Hahah!! And her face completely vanished.

Those are my main nitpicks and observations.

And according to Bil Keane, holding a piece of sporting equipment the wrong way is comic strip worthy. When it's a young child holding the object it's automatically "Precious and adorable" in the eyes of America's grandmothers.

Here is my version:

Sunday, July 02, 2006

I shall return...

Summer vacation/hiatus..I'll start posting again late July or early August.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

One Year! One Year!

It has been one year to this date that this fine, (who am I kidding) blog has been around.

I have learned through several bloggers such as Big Al, Josh, and Yellojkt, such techniques as...

  1. Asking the public what they want. And please, do continue to tell me. And comment! Please. Most of the time I feel like I am writing into one will see this.
  2. Linking to other bloggers; they feel obligated to link back to promote one's page. This has happened a couple of times to this blog.
  3. Add variety! No one wants to see the same old "Family Circus is stoopid" or "Mary Worth is a meddling old hag" gags. That is why I have added different mediums of communication to this blog.
So please, all of my reader(s) ( :\ ) link to me, mention me, refer readers..anything. I want an audience to tell my thoughts to.

Thank you for a good year!